| The last stop to nowhere. |
[20 Oct 2007|04:31am] |
|
fear and terror grip me, racing by road sighn after road sighn
but will i be there in time?
you see my time is running out
and the gas is running low
the engine block is cracked
and i feel ive lost my soul
but shes hanging in for dear life
my noble steed
its as if she feels my plight
and moves on without heed
ive been here before this situation i remember it well
has it realley been this long since i visited hell
im sick of these mother fucking demons
leaving me screamin for air
im sick of caring
fuck this
peace im out.
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
|
|
|
[20 Aug 2006|01:49pm] |
Man those northeners put us to shame.
Some fun quotes from the weekend-
"you driving steve?" "ya man just lemme finish my drink" (a bottle of tequilla)
"ill have the family salad"
"Cops!" (dewey comando rolls over the seat as we figure it out and steve guns it out of there thru a lil ditch)
"Ramsay!" *wakes up* "ok im going for beer 17" (pulled a fucking robbie D)
"Ramsay get up were leaving" "oh sweet ill steal that couch" "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that."
2 hours of sleep and were on the way home.
that was a good fucking weekend.
|
|
|
[01 Aug 2006|05:01am] |
All i can say is im back
and im back to the poker analogy. Likewise it'll encompase the same general idea.
Ever been at the poker table? more chips than u can see over, its just one of those days.
But than evreything twists. You chase one hand way too long, suddenly a lead you built for what seems like an eternity is reduced to rubble. and between a bad bluff and a bad beat your down to the old poker saying a chip and a chair. The hands are dealt and your looking as good as you ever will, and its in.
Now your mind races frantically as evreyone at the table has called to see the flop. No way your pulling this one off, someones overpaired you, or soon will. But youve lucked out, you've flopped an open ender. Instantly your happy, if you can pull off the hit your back in and looking decent. turn is no help, palms start to sweat, the turn has now produced a flush draw, now your outs have been slashed to about 6 not counting your cards that are inevitably dead from all the hands in the pot.
So here you sit for an eternity.
And thats where you sit back
and smile to yourself, and you realley mull the question over:
Do I feel lucky?
enough to put up a grin?
That night, i cashed out 600$
it also managed to coincide with my life for the past 5 - 6 months
But will the result be the same?
of course theres more variables in life than cards but you get the jist of it.
8 or K cmon.
|
|
| CARTERRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[20 May 2006|03:01am] |
Josh M 2 - 1 (bo3)
Will 2 - 0 (bo3)
Sysco 2 - 0 (bo3)
Rocco 3 - 0 (bo5)
All that for carter to take the win
I am so good at poker
Best heads up out of Aurora Sacred WHAT!
Lose my first game and come to win 9 strait for the win. I could do no wrong.
Poker = Therapy
i Havnt been this content in awile.
The series is now 1 - 1 Carters got it in the bag :)
|
|
| You put the ball in my court, Ready? |
[29 Apr 2006|02:58pm] |
|
you dont know it. But i have absolute power over you and your about to feel what i can do. Weve always been aquantinces living in harmony. But now your threatining me. You picked the worse time. Cuz i have the power now and im just about to use it. Fuck you.
|
|
|
[21 Mar 2006|07:04pm] |
I have to believe that when my eyes are closed, the world's still there. Do I believe the world's still there? Is it still out there?... Yeah. We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. I'm no different.
The world doesn't just disappear when you close your eyes, does it?
|
|
| just call me the lord of war |
[13 Feb 2006|12:51am] |
They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
There is nothing we can do at all.
evil is unfathomable and we cant stop it.
kinda like how we cant do anything about other things.
Maybe one of us will make a diffrence and leave a dent in the world, but i doubt it.
dosn't that trouble you to KNOW not think but KNOW that your life is a trite example of human nothingness ?
i guess thats why i came to the conclusion of
the meaning to life - Have a good time. Cause what else is the point.
I have never felt hate before tonight.
but
I Hate you.
i realley do.
Yes its a dark post i guess ive been thinking alot latley.
|
|
| The first day of the rest of my life |
[10 Feb 2006|06:00pm] |
Last night i swear to god was fucked up
i rarley dream
very rarley
and last night i had a dream
and i dont remember most of it / care to get into it.
But evreythings O so clear now. On so many levels alot of things make sense. I understand you now. and i deffinetly get all of you now.
I guess i just finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired.
|
|
| karma police arrest this man! |
[08 Feb 2006|02:45am] |
- You see there is only one constant. One Universal. it is the only real truth. Causality. Action, reaction. cause and effect. - Nice logic eh?
The only good thing to come out of the second matrix.
evrey action no matter how trivial has a reaction rocco says "hey ill fight you man."When this happend he got charlie horsed.
the way people act is the cause and what people think of them is the effect. at least I think so
even if the effect is not instant it always happens if theres a cause.
and theres always a cause.
Now, this is easily proven and has evreything to do with evreything in how people are how people act what they dress like, there sense of fasion and there thought process on issues. Gee evreyones that simple ? Realley puts perspective on the human race. Evreyone is a by-product of cause and effect. Gets you thinking, "hey i can trace evreyone of my actions to this logic.
Getting to bed is now my Effect but, The cause of my awakeness is my head swimming. Over and over, Veried ideas but the same cause and yes, u know, Effect.
what it proves this whole jumble of words is evryone is Rational. becuz theres nothing done for no reason. It makes me smile when something so simple can be the sole reason for evreything.
This is all for you.
and reaon i am the way i am with you.
you gave me the causes i guess im just the effect
YOUR STARTING TO PISS ME OFF.
hypocrit. say one thing and do another FUCK OFF
and for a minute there, i lost myself, i lost myself
I AM the Greatest man alive. Other than chuck norris. Damn him!
ahahah.
|
|
| Soon you'll understand |
[05 Feb 2006|04:32pm] |
An eventful weekend too say the least.
I thought alot this weekend about evreything. and i got alot of shit off my chest, thanks too evreyone who helped me out.
bout time rocco came out of the closet. hahah
I came i saw i conquerd.
I guess i got tierd of being what you wanted me to be
im not who you want me to be
and i never will
that part of me is dead.
Maybe im not insane. infact im kind of rational.
Yes, you want to hold me up and break me down
|
|
| Evreythings coming up Milhouse!!!.... err Ramsay! |
[25 Jan 2006|02:42am] |
Like i was saying too dewey earlier evreything latley has been comming up ramsay.
than i come 2nd outta 500 in a poker turny.
like this week has been fucking god
snowmobeiling
sleeping in evreyday
car evreyday cuz step dads out of town
the problem is no longer there
turns out i folded but forgot I was big blind i got my cards back and won the hand. man jim wud be mad.
With a backpack packed
and a mark on a map
gonna drive too fast
gonna not look back
light the night
with a blow torch and a match
I think afroman said it best. Lets all get drunk!
|
|
| Now this is the end. |
[23 Jan 2006|03:11am] |
If poker has taught me anything its this.
no matter how high the odds are stacked in your favour if you keep playing the game your eventually going to lose.
|
|
| The ominous feeling that someone somewhere just died. |
[12 Jan 2006|02:52pm] |
Ive got this feeling.
That life as i know it is about to change dramatically
for the better or worse i dont know.
Lifes in the 2nd gear for too long its about time i shifted up.
and the question is how are you going to play a role in this.
not you. YOU.
maybe you could finally be the one who reaches in and saves me from the flood?
and you'll try to push my head under until I choke.
and all of you will watch with nothing to do or say.
except you who will try to make anyone who tries to save me drown with me.
evrey sentance is a diffrent you.
Sometimes you just have to let the chips fall where they may.
EDIT:
It is now 3oclock AM technically friday.
I just watched american history X.
the world is a fucked up place. sure you know of it but you never realley feel it. This movie makes you feel it alright. and what ive learnd from this-
Lifes too short to be angry. So make evrey little thing count. Evrey second you sit around, make it worth something.
This movie made something click in me. It wasnt the blatent image being sent out of the inhumanity of hate crimes, and of racism that did it. It was the underlining tone of the movie that shows that we are all puppets. Because this movie made it possible to see the view points of the KKK and other radical groups it makes you see how people get sucked into the bullshit how easy it is the sway people just by being confident in your opinions and your views no matter how sick and twisted they may be.
So think of this. Evreything you do is a pre-thought of someone somwhere who marketed towards you so you can be the way you are. realley takes the spice out of life dosnt it? I just dont know. Poker is a fad working out is the way you get the way the models we idolize look, the clothing we wear is what were told will make us more popular, even the way we act is all gatherd from what we see and think is the best way to carry ourselves through out our lives.
This is some major late night rambeling ignore it all. i dont even know if im making sense but what i do know is that evrey shred of who i am is questinable at that moment. Dont get me wrong im a happy guy and will continue being happy even with this thought process. It just makes me wonder.
I can feel it already, school tomorrow will span Eons. Generations will come and go. both great wars will have been fought out and relived. Ghengis Khan will rape and pillage and George W will rid the school of terrorists. Than after ive lived out what will seem like the eternity of human excistance i will go home.
-ignore grammer / spelling. its late i am an insomniac.
Andrew William Nickel Ramsay
|
|
| Bored waiting for dinner |
[08 Jan 2006|06:11pm] |
In 2005 I...
{x} broke a promise
{x} made a new best friend
(x} fell in love
{x} fell out of love
{x} did something you swore never to do
{x} lied
{x} stole
{x} got drunk
{x} got high
{x} went behind your parents back
{x} cried over a broken heart
{x} disappointed someone close
{x} hid a secret
{x} pretended to be happy
{/} got arrested (they cudnt catch me and evreyone else)
{x} kissed in the rain
{x} slept under the stars
{ } kept your new years resolution
{x} forgot your new years resolution
{x} met someone who changed your life
{x} met one of your idols
{x} changed your outlook on life
{ } sat home all day doing nothing
{x} pretended to be sick
{ } left the country
{x} almost died
{x} partied
{x} got kissed
{x} given up something important to you
{ } lost something expensive
{x} learned something new about yourself
{x} tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
{x} made a change in your life
{x} found out who your true friends were. (not completley yet)
{x} made a total fool of yourself
{x} met great people
Which month:
Did your life change the most? August
Did something happen which you regret? August
Did you meet the most people? July
Was the worst? October/November
Did you have the most hookups? I dont even qualify
Was the most relaxing? June
Had the most goodbyes? August
Did you have your heart broken? March
Random questions:
What was your favorite thing about this month? N/A its been 8 days nothing qualifies
Was this year better then the previous? yes
What are you going to miss about 2005? not having to worry about the next step
Do you look back at 2005 with a smile or a frown? which month are we talking about. overall a smile will do
What did you learn from this year? Shit happens. People are two faced. You never know as much as u think you know. Dont eat yellow snow. you cant read a moron. People are simple the if u ask yourself why did they do that? usually the most obvious answer is right.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Was 2005 a good year for you? it was a mixed blessing
What was your favourite moment of the year? August the whole month
What was your least favourite moment of the year? the whole month of October staring a full school year in the face after the greatest summer.
Where were you when 2005 began? Christies with sara
Where will you be when 2005 ends? with the gang at matts
Did you break-up with anyone in 2005? yes
Did you make any new friends in 2005? yes
Who are your favourite new frends? hmm New friends ? well prob Devan and the kes crew cuz evreyone else i met before 2005
What was your favourite month of 2005? for the last time August
Did you travel outside of the country in 2005? i dont think i left toronto
What was your favourite movie that you saw in 2005? ummmm i realley like... ummm .... i watch too many movies.
What was your favourite song from 2005? Hotel Coral Essex
What was your favourite album from 2005? whole album ? ummm iunno its between the bled found in the flood, avenge seven fold waking the fallen and so many others they stand out in my mind right now.
How many concerts did you see in 2005? alot
Did you have a favourite concert in 2005? warp tour was the most fun
Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005? Not a whole lot acctually
Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005? this is where i made up for not as much alcohol
Did you treat somebody badly in 2005? yes
Did somebody treat you badly in 2005? yes
How much money did you spend in 2005? not much
If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change it, what would it be? Nothing. im content the way i am now. and if i changed something i wudnt be the way i am.
Always leave yourself Outs.
|
|
|
[06 Jan 2006|05:20am] |
|
Like i dont even know how anymore.... :(
|
|
| Assumptions |
[21 Dec 2005|01:52am] |
Assuming is the brother of all fuck ups.
You mean the mother of all fuck ups
Mother brother any other lover, assuming still fucks up.
|
|
| Fear.... |
[19 Dec 2005|05:21pm] |
FEAR AND LOATHING IN AURORA 12 DAYS.
new years eve. the beginning of the end.
Goodluck andrew you'll need it.
|
|
| Here We Go |
[12 Dec 2005|11:22pm] |
My life is a lie
ive been falling apart piece by piece with a grin on my face to cover the obvious. No i am not crying about some gril not liking me or not talking to me. No i am not talking about having a bad day or something not going my way im talking about the friends youll always have, family. Ive built this all up for so long and i dont know what to do about it.
You may wonder why on livejournal well its easier for me, i find it easier to talk to no one directly but rather just say things. Its just the way i work im sorry if it looks like a desperate stab for attention.
Long of the short alot of shit has been happening too me, personally ive been headed in a downward spiral. Im losing desire in things around me things have lost there appeal and with that the drive to succeed has flatlined.
And it dosnt help when family problems mount mount and mount somemore
Uncle - Cancer and fighting a losing battle and has been for the past year.
Faveorit Cousin - Diabetes are getting worse to the point where it is near fatal (evreytime he goes to sleep he may never wake up). and hes the guy ive looked up to my whole life. This guy is a older version of me and i love him to death and im so worried for him. And hes only 21
Step Bro - Recently checkd into a hospital for undisclosed reasons.
Grandma - not much longer to live
Oma / Opa - health problems mounting
Other cousin - recovering from being a alcholic now works as a bell boy in a hotel. A man who 3 years ago was on the path to being a lawyer. Hes only 26
Mom - Having heart complicaitions for source unknowen and im getting sighns of them already
Me - My insomnia is racking up i can sleep less and less at nights which makes me much more irritable at school etc and im sorry for anyone whos noticed. Ive realley been a wreck latley. and the only way i feel that i can escape is the weekend.
I just wish for once evreything worked out. And for you if you read this, This is why i dont want a relationship. why do i need more people attaching too me adding more problems that i have to deal with. Im not saying there not important. Well, there not my problem, shallow maybe but i dont need anything like that.
So This is my life and its ending one minute at a time
sorry for lack of grammer this all just kinda burst out of me like a dam inside just burst.
man this has been a bad night.
|
|
| ya im bored |
[04 Dec 2005|06:00pm] |
YOU CAN ASK ME SIX QUESTIONS:
(if you can't think of 6 ask as many as you can think of)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
__________________________________________________
No matter how random, revealing, rude, naughty or pointless
__________________________________________________
I promise to answer them 100% honestly
__________________________________________________
[[[Repost this to see what others ask you...]]]
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
takn_backfriday's journal